Yeah, this beat reminds me of back in the day
Man, tell 'em about your perfect Saturday
[Verse 1: Jorm, Kiva, and (Ned)]
Woke up at 10, no worries at all
Another sunny day in LA, that’s how we ball
Hit my homie J cuz he rolls the blunts tight
Head’s still spinnin from the freaks last night
Yea man, you know I got the sticky for sho
And five females coming over at 4
I’ma hop in the shower, clean my nuts
Throw on the Polo Sport to impress the stunts
Rolling up in the Charger with the suicide doors
Top down cruising as I head to the store
Jim has some brews, everything that we need
Then back to the crib smoking indo weed
It’s the perfect Saturday, there’s knock on the door
Man, these girls are here early, it’s a quarter to 4
Man, which of these freaks I’ma see in my bed?
Open the door and see my homie Ned
(Oh, hey guys, how’s it going?) What up, Ned?
(I got 911, need to use your head)
[That’s a no can do, ooh your breath is all hit]
(Yeah, I know , now move, I gotta take a shit)
[Now, normally Ned, the bathroom was yours
But we got these fine freaks coming over at 4]
(Fine freaks? Okay, new plan
I’ll just hold it and let out small farts for the rest of the night)
[Interlude: Jorm, Kiva, and (Ned)]
Okay, Ned, thanks for stopping by
Seriously, Ned, it was good to see you
*Ned's fart noises*
Listen, the freaks are gonna be here any minute
We gotta get rid of this guy
Hey dude, he’s your friend, you should ask him to leave
Listen, if the freaks come here, he cannot be here
*Doorbell buzzes, Ned's fart noises continue*
Shit! Ah, one second
What time is it?
It’s 4, it’s them
Who? The freaks?
Yes, get Ned out!
[Verse 2: Jorm, Kiva, and (Ned)]
Ned, you gotta hop out the window
(But we’re on the 5th floor!) Yes, move like endo
(I’m not doing that!) Then hit the bathroom on the double
(The dump's in my butt and your toilet's in trouble)
*Doorbell buzzes again, Ned's fart noises continue*
[Interlude: Jorm, Kiva, (Ned), and girls]
(Look, seriously I’ll hold it
I’ve been in this situation literally hundreds of times)
*Large fart noise*
Oh, what the fuck? Oh, no
I’m gonna need to borrow some pants
Oh, hey ladies
Oh, my God, it smells like fucking death in here!
This place smells like shit!
It was them!
We're out of here
Oh, you guys blew it
[Verse 2: Jorm and (Ned)]
Well, that’s too bad but we ain’t mad
No, in fact, we got something to show you
It’s down this hallway, and open up the store room
(A surprise?) Yeah, man, something like that
So walk out front and don’t look back
(What’s all this plastic? Were you painting last night?)
Don’t worry about it, just walk towards the light
(It sure is pretty) Yea, sure is
Close your eyes, Ned. (You’re my only friends)
*Ned farts again, gunshot is heard*
You didn't think you were gonna get out of this without a fart joke, did you?
You wack motherfuckers
You pussy motherfuckers
The fuck y'all thinking?
This is Lonely Island!
Oh, cause we got a little paper now
And you see us on the TV
You think we don’t do fart jokes no more?
We were doing fart jokes when you were suckin' your mama’s tit
You fart motherfuckers, fuck y'all